i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
