You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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