You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
