You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Randomize
