i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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