You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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