we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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