he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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