I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I will be naked everywhere
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
