i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
