You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
