Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
