Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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