i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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