I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
