Who wears a wallet chain?!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
