I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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