would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
