We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
