just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
