She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
