I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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