went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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