hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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