im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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