it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
