did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
