hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
