we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
