You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
