kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
What a dumb baby whore.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
