I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
