I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just come out here and I will go home with you...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
