I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
