You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
