Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
