I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
