It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
