we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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