Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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