you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
