Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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