she was so not down for the gang bang
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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