in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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