the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
