apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
