but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
