Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
