do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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