I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
